Certified field research into the structural fate of soap bubbles. Every bubble ends. The Bureau simply logs how.
The Bureau of Ephemeral Spheres exists to observe soap bubbles from the moment of inflation to the moment of their inevitable non-existence, and to certify the manner of that transition using instruments only the Bureau can see.
Every bubble generates its own Blow Record, is classified as either Popped Midair or Escaped the Top, and is folded into the running Certified Bubble Integrity Index, which the Bureau has never once seen move.
Each bubble is measured for size, drift, and airborne duration, regardless of how gently it was blown, how deliberately it was popped, or whether a soap film can be meaningfully held accountable for anything.
All readings are generated within tolerances the Bureau considers scientifically unimpeachable. There is no wind tunnel. There is no Bureau.
The Certified Bubble Integrity Index measures what percentage of all bubbles blown remain, structurally, bubbles. That number is zero, and has been zero since the Bureau's founding.
This is not considered a flaw in the measurement. A popped bubble and an escaped bubble are, to the Bureau's instruments, indistinguishable outcomes, filed under the same ultimate heading.
Operators may blow as many bubbles as they like, in any order, at any size. The Bureau will apply exactly the same rigor to bubble number one thousand as to bubble number one, which is to say, none.
The Official Soap Bubble Blower is provided for entertainment purposes only. No actual soap, water, or air was consulted in the certification of any bubble.